1. Talk directly to your child about becoming a Big Brother / Big Sister before you openly discuss the exciting news about the coming baby.  Kids really are listening to what you tell others.
2. Speak to your child in terms that address his/her perspective.  To a young child, this experience is about becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister.
3. Bring your child to a doctor's appointment to see the baby on the ultrasound.
4. Take advantage of resources offered by the hospital where you will be delivering your new baby.  Many hospitals have sibling tours and classes designed to help during the transition.
5. Spend time with other families that have recently welcomed an additional child into the family.
6. Get your child a baby of their own.  One of the best ways to keep your child involved is to get them their own baby to care for.
7. Be supportive by acknowledging your child's unspoken feelings.  For example, saying "it's going to take us all some time to get used to having a baby in our family" will let him/her know that you share anxiety about things that are new and unfamiliar.
8. Remind your child how much you love being a parent because of him/her.  Be specific about why you feel that way.
   
9. Offer your child the chance to participate in preparing for the baby, and ask for his/her opinion.
10. Give your child a tour of the baby's things:  car seat, crib, clothing, nursery, toys, diaper bag, bottles, pacifiers, etc.
11. Ask your child for help in arranging the nursery.
12. Reserve time every day to focus 100% on your child by doing things together and ignoring distractions.  Showing your child he/she has your undivided attention sends a strong message of reassurance and unconditional love.
13. "Imagine" with your child the things he/she will do with the baby.  Let him/her know how lucky the baby is to have such a wonderful Big Brother / Big Sister.
14. Talk about the birthing experience as it pertains to your child.  Nothing could be scarier to a toddler than to wake up and unexpectedly find a babysitter preparing breakfast instead of Mommy or Daddy .  Reassure him/her you'll be home in a few days -- with their new brother or sister!
15. Tell your child about his or her "babyhood" -- recall specific stories and don't be stingy with the details!
16. Talk with your child about what the baby will be like.  Use books that show pictures of babies and discuss what new babies can and cannot do.
17. Have your child select a picture frame for his/her room that will soon be filled with a new photo of the baby and the Big Brother / Big Sister.
18. Tape a picture of your child to the baby's crib so that the Big Brother / Big Sister will be the first person the baby sees every day.  Your child will feel so proud!
19. Invite your child to help pick out baby's coming home clothes.
20. Discuss changes to the family's routines ahead of time with your child.  You may not be able to eat dinner at the same time every night or play music when the baby is sleeping.  Talk about what those changes might be so no one is caught off-guard.
21. Brief the caregiver on your child's routines -- everything from favorite foods and stories to usual nap and bed times -- in order to keep things as close to normal as possible.
22. Be prepared for some mixed reactions.  No matter how well you explain what's happening to your family, some level of jealousy or confusion is likely to arise.  Your child is not used to sharing his/her parents, and will likely struggle with that fact.
23. Have your child and the baby exchange gifts.  Your child may want to pick out a special gift for the baby during mom's pregnancy.
24. Make up a secret family handshake and be sure to use it before you go to the hospital to deliver the baby.
25. Enjoy reading your child's Big Brother / Big Sister keepsake journal, together and often.

FOR PREPARING CHILDREN FOR THEIR UPCOMING RELOCATION

Sooner or later, many families face the prospect of relocating. Stressful and disruptive as it is for adults, moving -- and the anticipation of moving -- is even more traumatic for children. But parents who are able to address their child's needs and worries in advance can transfer the experience into a growing and positive transition.

Renee Raab Whitcombe, author of  Look who's moving to a New Home, offers these tips for preparing children for their upcoming relocation:

1. Present the move in a positive light. Explain to your child the circumstances of the move (job transfer, new job, being closer to family), and let them know why relocating is good for the family. Convey your genuine enthusiasm about the new home, new school and new neighborhood, but don't overdo it with over-the-top cheerleading.
2. Listen. And then listen some more. Communication is critical between parents and children when introducing and preparing for a move to a new home. Encourage questions and candid discussion. Be sensitive to fears, sadness or confused emotions. Let your child know you are available on an on-going basis.
3. Explain the timing and process. No matter what age your child is, the whole idea of moving becomes more clear when you explain everything step-by-step. Be generous with details about who does the packing, when the movers will come, how the family will travel to the new home and how the movers will transport everything.
4. Involve your child in the moving process. Allowing age-appropriate input on decisions and planning will help your child feel like a participant in the move. Let your child help pack his own belongings, allow him to decide which things get thrown out or donated to charity and let him mark the boxes from his own bedroom.
5. Avoid Moving Day Melt Down. Judge your child's emotional threshold for observing movers methodically pack, wrap and empty your home, and make plans accordingly. Perhaps it's best to drop him off with a friend or relative, or hire a babysitter to take him to the park and out for lunch at a kid-friendly restaurant.
6. Visit and research the new neighborhood. Find out as much as possible about your new home and area, and share the information with your child. If your child can't visit the home ahead of the move, bring back pictures or video to help him envision his new room and the kitchen where he will be eating meals. Get a local map of the new area and highlight school, parks, grocery stores and other places of interest to kids.
7. Stay in touch with friends and neighbors. Help your child to understand that moving away doesn't mean losing special friends and family forever. Buy a new address book to collect contact information. Take lots of pictures before you go for a memory book. Have a good-bye gathering (at your home, a friend's home or a local pizza place). Send postcards with your new contact information to friends and family, and include a request for visits, phone calls and email.
8. Be prepared for some acting out and moodiness. These are natural signs of stress and adjustment. Your child may be experiencing several conflicting emotions. It's entirely possible to feel excited, sad and scared at the same time. Going from familiar to unfamiliar is difficult, especially for a child who wasn't responsible for the initial decision to move in the first place.
9. Transfer routines. As you get settled in your new home, remember to bring traditions with you. Keep places as the dinner table the same. Arrange food and drinks in the fridge like always. Resume Friday movie-and-popcorn-night as soon as possible.
10. Plug in to the new neighborhood. Seek out new friends on the block. Sign up for activities your child already enjoys (sports, art class, dance or martial arts). Visit the new school. Get a library card and hit the mall. A proactive approach will go far to generate a sense of familiarity quickly and is sure to help break the ice.